September….Back to school time. Like all parents, we missionaries have to answer the hard question of what are we going to do for school this year? Home school? Public (national) school? Private school? Christian school? Boarding School?
As of this year, we have done it all! Home school, National (French) school, Christian school, International School, Boarding School and now we have even sent Caleb off to the University of Montana! This fall, Becca has left us as well to attend Rift Valley Academy, a missionary boarding school in Kenya. People ask us, how could you send her to boarding school? It wasn’t that we sent her away, but she was begging to go! She is thrilled for the opportunity to study in a Christian environment with 500 other MK kids! She has already auditioned and got a part (she got a callback!) in the play “Death on the Nile”. She chatters away to us about her day through texts and phone calls.
Caleb and Becca on the balcony of our apartment before heading off for their first day of French public school in Albertville, France.
We send our kids to school to be educated, but I have learned many lessons along the way as well! For us, it is important to keep the end result in mind. What do we want or think this child is capable of doing after high school? For those of us living overseas, we need to consider what we want our child’s primary language to be. It is a great benefit for our children to speak multiple languages, but most students need a primary language in order to succeed academically. By keeping the end in mind, our children can pick classes and take standardized tests to meet college entrance requirements.
There are other “educational experiences” that we wanted for our children and we had to find ways of providing them, such as getting a driver’s license, working a summer or part-time job, learning to balance a check book, and basic housekeeping skills.
Another lesson we try to constantly to remember is that there is no one right answer. What works for one family, may not work for another family. We develop community by supporting rather than judging the choices that other families make even when they may be different than ours. What works for one child, may not work for their sibling. There are no “cookie cutter” answers. Each child is unique and each year decisions must be made with much prayer and thought with that child in mind.
Becca on her first day of school at Rift Valley Academy in Kenya.
Most importantly, missionaries need to be aware of their child’s spiritual development. Spiritual maturity does not just happen on its own. Most of us missionaries do not have children’s pastors or youth pastor’s providing great opportunities for our kids to grow. Our kids do have wonderful opportunities to serve along side us, but we can’t take it for granted that they are learning the lessons being taught to their American peers in English Sunday School classes. We must be very deliberate. In our situation, even though our kids speak English and French, church is in a third language, Malagasy. We must therefore provide other opportunities for our kids to grow in Christ, whether that be family devotions, listening to podcasts in English, attending English worship services or starting English speaking bible clubs or youth groups.
The decisions that our family has made about school this year are the hardest schooling choices we have ever made! These decisions were not entered lightly. Along with Caleb, we weighed the options between a Christian and State University. We considered what he wanted to do (wildlife/research biology), as well as what spiritual support group was in place (living in the Chi Alpha House rather than on campus in the dorms).
Caleb at the University of Montana
As I write this, Caleb is in the U.S and Becca is in Kenya while we continue to serve in Madagascar. We are empty nesters for the sake of our children’s schooling. It is with extra prayer that we start this new school year! So far, we have had excited phone calls home updating mom and dad with exciting tales. But we know there will be adjustments to make, lessons to learn and opportunities to seize.
Praying for you and yours as you too begin another school year,
Tammy
You inspire me as a parent and Jesus follower. Thanks for your awesomeness! (That was just for the school teacher)
this was so good to read! thanks for sharing it, so the rest of us can benefit from your wisdom. i’m so grateful to have friends who are going before us in parenting and doing such a great job of it. miss you guys!
Tammy, sorry I’ve lost touch for you, but have been praying on a regular basis. What exciting words from Nate on the pastors’ meeting. Are you still teaching? How can I be praying for you?